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You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
