and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
