two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
