my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A+ Viking dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
