Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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