Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
