Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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