Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pants are for mortals
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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