The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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