I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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