so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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