My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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