Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
