How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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