how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
