I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize