Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Holy sore nipples Batman
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