The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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