Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
