she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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