i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
