i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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