its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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