The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
