Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize