Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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