I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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