I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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