Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
