Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
