I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
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I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in