Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

  (425): View more from Washington

  Legs for days

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Harpoon that

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  (425): Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water (425): Legs for days (1-425): Harpoon that http://tfl.nu/z0dx
  Replies (2) Good night (2058) Bad night (651)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5315) Bad night (1306)
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  (518): View more from New York

  one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what

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  (518): one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what http://tfl.nu/cm71
  Replies (7) Good night (2119) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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  (863): It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job. http://tfl.nu/q4uy
  Replies (9) Good night (2488) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.

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  (517): We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up. http://tfl.nu/37cl
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (1588)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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  (434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1
  Replies (4) Good night (2365) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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  (812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (588)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Thank god I got my shit together

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  (203): Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment (410): Thank god I got my shit together http://tfl.nu/mezm
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (600)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.

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  (+27): Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything. http://tfl.nu/71ow
  Replies (1) Good night (611) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.

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  (517): My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now. http://tfl.nu/dik7
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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  (940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (403)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."

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  (832): Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen." http://tfl.nu/e369
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.

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  (919): Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home. http://tfl.nu/lft8
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.

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  (512): I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol. http://tfl.nu/ap1u
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING

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  (570): I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING http://tfl.nu/no5j
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (234)

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