Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
