Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.

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  (858):He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW. http://tfl.nu/23zr
  Replies (11) Good night (1988) Bad night (464)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1346) Bad night (10067)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  That's why Kanye is a gay fish.

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  (606): That's why Kanye is a gay fish. http://tfl.nu/hy3e
  Replies (103) Good night (8323) Bad night (801)
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  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6509) Bad night (1083)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...

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  (407): Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup... http://tfl.nu/530r
  Replies (26) Good night (3428) Bad night (961)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk

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  (814): Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk http://tfl.nu/i4kc
  Replies (9) Good night (5552) Bad night (779)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends

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  (712): i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends http://tfl.nu/3n1u
  Replies (7) Good night (3772) Bad night (1014)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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  (571): What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song? http://tfl.nu/zr38
  Replies (26) Good night (3206) Bad night (978)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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  (204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5
  Replies (7) Good night (2223) Bad night (535)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1565) Bad night (568)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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  (954): Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/lib4
  Replies (12) Good night (619) Bad night (2372)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it

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  (201): I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it http://tfl.nu/orze
  Replies (7) Good night (1136) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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  (425): Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage. http://tfl.nu/p8gy
  Replies (13) Good night (426) Bad night (2017)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters

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  (971): I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters http://tfl.nu/ncp4
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (211)

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