Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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