Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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