i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
