Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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