When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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