I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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he's gonorrhea incarnate
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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