the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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