the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
