He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
