I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
