Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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