I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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