Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
