He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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