you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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