Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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