Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
