p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wow bdsm is so cute
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
