i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
