Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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