you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
