I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
