a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We need to get me chipped asap
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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