ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize