just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
