Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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