hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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